You know you are corporate ghetto/white trash if..

  1. You dont begin working until you have eaten all of your grits/tacos/bagels.
  2. You have atleast one drawer/cabinet that contains more food than office supplies.
  3. Not only do you know all the security guards, janitors and cafetira workers, one of them has actually asked you out.
  4. Your version of a conference call is when you call your friends and plan what you’re doing this weekend.
  5. The only time your man/woman picks you up from work is on payday.
  6. Friends and family members call you at work to cuss you out because you didn’t answer your phone quick enough.
  7. You paint your nails at your desk.
  8. When you are on a personal call you, laugh so loud your co-workers on the other side of the office come and ask you whats so funny.
  9. You have pictures on your wall with you and your friends at the club.
  10. To beat the system, you have codes for personal calls that let’s someone know to call you right back.
  11. You give your out-of-town friends your company’s 1-800 number.
  12. Before calling in sick, you rehearse your sick voice and sick story several times out loud.
  13. Co-workers inquire how your father’s surgery went that required you to be out for days and you dont even know who your daddy is.
  14. You use the company’s postage machine to stamp your personal mail.
  15. Your kid’s school supplies all have you company logo on them.
  16. You call in sick on payday Friday and send your cousin to pick up your paycheck. (Now thats real ghetto, get direct deposit!)
  17. You contribute $1 to the office Christmas party, eat the most food and take a platter of lunch meat and potato salad home to your family for dinner.
  18. Before someone uses your telephone at your desk, they have to wipe the chicken grease off the handset.
  19. You call in sick on Friday because you went out on thrusday.
  20. You don’t like your supervisor and a couple other co-workers and you tell them off on a regular basis and wonder why you haven’t been promoted.
  21. You get your haircut/hair done at lunch and come back two hours later and then ask “was anybody looking for me?”
  22. You cuss your creditors out for calling you at work.
  23. You come to work on Friday’s dressed for the club.
  24. You kids call your job and say to the operator, “Let me speak to my momma”
  25. You are still just sitting there reading this shit instead of getting your work done!

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