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Top Ten Reasons to Make Gay Marriage Illegal
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn’t changed at all like many of the principles on which this great country was founded; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of marriages like Britney Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
via: email
I was emailed the source by a reader which you can find here. Its similar, but not the same version i got in my email.
415 Responses
nickster
November 13th, 2006 at 11:43 am
1I was gonna come on here and be angry and leave you some troll comments, but then i decided to read the actual post.
Good post!
Cameron
November 13th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
2Excellent bait-and-switch!
DaveP
November 13th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
3Lol, exactly the same here, was about to leave a nasty comment telling you to grow up but read the whole thing instead.
Excellent satire, enjoyed reading.
Brent
November 13th, 2006 at 12:14 pm
4Lol I was going to say that it should be legal because its there choice and America is a free country so they should have the right to do as they please. I think gay people should have the right to be happy as well as a straight couple. Good post!!!
Schelsea
November 13th, 2006 at 12:16 pm
5absolutely loved this post! thought it was right on!
cucu
November 13th, 2006 at 12:18 pm
6Very nice and funny !
The last line however - “Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans” - is however not so true in itself - it will be very interesting to see how cars will do when oil will triple current price, the service economy might not be doing very well in the near future since China can provide most services cheaper and the longer life spans might crush many retirement plans …
JMeredith
November 13th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
7Satire? What do you mean by satire? And what’s this “air conditioning” you refer to; it sounds very unnatural.
Foo Bar
November 13th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
8Stupid.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
9Please Foo Bar, don’t be so hard on yourself.
Anthony
November 13th, 2006 at 12:58 pm
10The title grabbed my attention and, at first, I was angry. But I took the time to read the whole list and laughed. You effectively show why the reasons against gay marriage aren’t rational.
Thanks!
spankie joe
November 13th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
11There are no arguments against gay marriage that make any sense. Even the god based stuff does not hold water. If we are to base law on gods law then men shaving their beards should be illegal.
Mr. Conservative
November 13th, 2006 at 1:00 pm
12Just because many of the alternate “consequences” you covered here are happening, doesnt make it right. Just because there are millions of single parents out there doesnt make the perpetuation of that by gay marriage right.
alec
November 13th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
13I know why I hate gay marriage: dey took der jobs.
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 1:13 pm
14Here’s one this list is gay. If it is truly natural then guys backholes would be there frontholes. Its not natural never is and frankly is one of the reasons there is so much disease. So please bait and switch.
Pollywogs! » Blog Archive » Gay marrige got owned…
November 13th, 2006 at 1:14 pm
15[...] http://stopgeek.com/top-10-reasons-gay-marriage-should-be-illegal.html Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America. [...]
Vic
November 13th, 2006 at 1:19 pm
16@Jordan
I can see that you are not very informed on the subject.
Who is to say that the norm is “front holes” instead of “back holes” as you put it?
Homosexuality did not create diseases. HIV was spread rapidly through homosexuality because of the unprotected sex, not because they are gay.
Whose right is it to say that gays cannot suffer through marriage like “straights” ?
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 1:29 pm
17Wrong. There is a reason women are made one way and guys the other. One reason it is the norm, is you are talking to me and were born. If people were “born” gay, there would only be lets see, less than 10 people in the world. You also shot yourself in the foot with the unprotected sex comment so I’m not even going to go there. Whose right? Obviously its mine. You obviously have a bleek outlook on marriage, and for that I pity you. Unlike you, society doesnt dictate to me how I should think.
Vic
November 13th, 2006 at 1:33 pm
18@ Jordan
“Unlike you, society doesn’t dictate to me how I should think.”
Interesting…
Matt
November 13th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
19Be easy on Jordan kids, he obviously has his backhole at the top…
Memet Bilgin
November 13th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
20spankie joe: here’s one argument. Marriage is a concept introduced in the bible.
The real problem isn’t marriage, the real problem is dissociation of state and church. The legal meaning of marriage (which basically comes down to tax exemption, and property sharing) is routinely confused with the religious origin of the word.
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 1:42 pm
21It is interesting. How the media portrays to everybody what the “norm” is, is quite interesting. Glad you pointed that out.
Roach
November 13th, 2006 at 1:48 pm
22When will the Conservatives and Republicans learn to understand what constitutes “rights.” America is built on allowing people “rights.” We may not agree with all the rights granted by our society. As much as it is your right to disagree and abstain from homosexual sex, it is as much the right of a homosexual to engage in those same acts. It is not about nature. It is about our system. Anytime you take something away from a person who has made a choice to enjoy said thing, you are destroying their rights. Wake up.
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 1:51 pm
23Matt-While you might think I’m a butthole, its my opinion, why does everybody who has an opposing opinion get crucified when we disagree with being “gay”. Plus you have something sticking out of your head, that you might wanna get checked out. Also separation of church and state is nowhere in the constitution, but was a letter from Thomas Jefferson that was taken out of context. Read history without the input of media and tell me why our country was founded. Read history and tell me what harvard and yale started out as. Its amazing how history can be distorted by media or just downright taken out altogether.
Roach
November 13th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
24We even have the right to murder someone. The choice of crime is not delayed by stripping away rights, it is the consequences that keep honest people honest. Homosexuals do not hurt anyone, unless you ask nicely.
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
25“Rights” are totally subjective roach. In that case, it is my “right” to steal from people and it be o.k. It is also my “right” to kill people and be o.k. That argument is null. So America wasn’t built on rights it was built on freedom.
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 1:59 pm
26Your interpretation is skewed. We dont have the right to murder someone, we have the opportunity to. If your consequences then keep people honest, why is our crime rate one of the highest in the world. Homosexuals do hurt people, not in a physical sense, yet they disrupt society its norms and conventionality. They cost taxpayers all sorts of money, trying to get laws passed especially for them. Special concessions are being made for them left and right.
Roach
November 13th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
27Murder is OK to perform. It is your right to perform such an act. Just as much as it our legal systems right to hand down the consequences for such an act. Just how it is natures right to hand down the consequences for unprotected anal sex. It is not your ass they are spreading. Why do you feel so strongly about this? Were you molested by your gay uncle? Just a question. Do you realize we are fighting a war where the church rule has turned people into fascists? That doesn’t scare you about right wing evangelicals in this country?
barb dybwad
November 13th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
28“everybody who has an opposing opinion get crucified when we disagree with being “gayâ€Â?”
no, you get crucified for spouting ignorant crap like “is one of the reasons there is so much disease” and some realllly confused and random ass-backward Darwinian mumbo jumbo about “backholes”
Vic
November 13th, 2006 at 2:06 pm
29@ Jordan
I wasnt trying to bash you or anything. Your opninion is your opinion, i respect that.
Anyway, You say this country was built on freedom, yet you dont agree with giving homosexuals the freedom to marriage?
You have the right to do anything you want, but your freedom ends, where your neighbor’s nose begins.
Thats an old saying, that basically your freedom ends when whatever you do harms someone. Is gays marrying hurting anyone.
Henry
November 13th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
30loved it i agree with everything you said
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 2:09 pm
31There is no need to get personal about this. It is just an opinion. Consequences do not make something right or not right, so I reiterate your use of right is not correct. Why do I feel strongly about this? the same reason you do. You have an opinion and are voicing it. it is obviously natures right to hand down the consequences because it is happening all the time. No, i was never molested, but I find it funny that is used as a copout all the time. Take responsibility for your own actions. We arent fighting a war with fascist church people and no it doesnt scare me. Morality is something that is long gone, and I would like to see it turn around for my kids and their future. I would like to further discuss with you just email me at jordanc23@juno.com. Once again lets not make this personal.
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 2:18 pm
32The reasons I have already outlined with the special concessions and pro creation. No one has rebutted me when I said if homosexuality is natural then there would be less than 10 people in the world. in fact the human race would not be here.
friend of Jordan (Grieving)
November 13th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
33Hi everyone…
I am sorry to say that Jordan will not be posting any more messages here. It seems that during the night she had a vision.
She saw her own impressive stupidity and bigoted ways in a new light and killed herself to make the world a better place.
So keep Jordan in your non prayers tonight, as her body slowly decomposes, eaten by worms. It seems she had no soul to begin with and is now nothing more than excreted worm faecal matter.
PS: She is a republican.
So keep Jordan in your non prayers tonight, as her body slowly decomposses
btgoss
November 13th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
34Great post…
snarky is funny…
you get a digg.
CrazyJoe
November 13th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
35“Also separation of church and state is nowhere in the constitution, but was a letter from Thomas Jefferson that was taken out of context.”
It isn’t in the original Constitution, but in the Amendments to the Constitution, effectively making it part of the Constitution.
Amendment 1
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
http://www.archives.gov/national-archives-experience/charters/bill_of_rights_transcript.html
THE VERY FIRST SENTENCE OF THE BILL OF RIGHTS!!!!
Right there.
Next time you decide to say something, do a little research. We have the right to exercise whatever religion we wish as long as it does not involve harming other individuals. We also have the right to not be told that since Christians see something is wrong, their religion gets to tell us it is. If it is considered to be commonly wrong, and not for religious reasons, then it is something that should be fixed. Someone stealing is a crime. It isn’t one because the 10 commandments said no, it’s because no one wants their stuff stolen.
Canadian Observer
November 13th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
361) Wicked Article
2) Unlike all the unknowledgeable No Gay Marriage advocates out there. Marriage was not created for the “Family Unit”. It was a method of wealth preservation and transfer.
3) Jordan: your society was based on the individual rights and freedoms. So to contradict your arguements, your freedome is your right not to be interfered with by anyone else. So thus -individual rights.
4) Pretty much all of the fore-fathers of American society were anti-christianity. Jefferson, Franklin, Hancock…. you name them, they thought Christianity was the downfall of society (hense leaving England in the first place). So for those who say that Christianity is how America was built..think again..
5) Just move to Canada..we don’t have GWB..we got a GWB wanna be! Must easier to ignore!
eh
November 13th, 2006 at 2:33 pm
37I never met a queer that wasn’t hopelessly screwed up beyond repair. Treat them as they are: defective sub-humans.
Matt
November 13th, 2006 at 2:37 pm
38Jordan-I live in a country which has learned from history that fanatism and intolerance bring with them a lot of suffering, pain and death. It is also the very country that your ancestors fought against to free this world from the terror of a dictatorship, all in an attempt to lead to victory a type of freedom that you are now denying your very own people.
In a world full of hate I´d prefer a happy gay person bringing the positive force of love into this world anytime over someone people like you who is spreading fear and ignorance by bringing up silly arguments about the position of a human orifice.
If being faced with an opposite opinion means getting crucified to you, then I guess you wont stand too long in this sort of argument. I do not recall anyone criticising you for being straight by the way, just for being intolerant. If you can not stand the heat, stay away from the flames…
Oh and about that thing sticking out of my head I guess that means you can see me?
For extra credit: How many fingers am I holding up?
Henry
November 13th, 2006 at 2:42 pm
39Jordan you need to understand that by not allowing homosexuals to have the same rights as straight people would be like saying that black people should still be slaves. Discrimination is wrong. People come here to have freedom let’s not take that away from them
friend of Jordan (Grieving)
November 13th, 2006 at 2:49 pm
40Please, please, I thank you for your kind attempts to keep Jordans spirit alive, but she is dead, kaput, pushing up daisies, deceased, singing with the choir invisible.
Do not speak to the soulless and the damned. It is a sin and is forbidden. Any further posts by Jordan will simply be from an angered evil spirit, speaking in tongues and trying to confuse you.
I pray that you do not listen, to the many gods I worship in front of my Golden Cow, Monkey, Goose and Smurf.
Beware the evil of Jordan, he memory now tainted and impure!
Miles
November 13th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
41It’s natural in that there are people who are homosexual by nature. Just like there are blue-eyed people, there are brown-eyed people, and there are green-eyed people. Green-eyes are the minority. Does that mean that it is unnatural to have green eyes? No, it doesn’t. It just means that it is a trait that is rare, or less likely.
How does it have any effect on YOU if two people of the same sex choose to marry? Are they forcing you to participate? Are they forcing anything on you what-so-ever? Chances are they will ignore you, because you dislike them.
Tad
November 13th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
42Jordan,
Gay people don’t want special treatment or special laws for them. They want the same treatment under the laws that heterosexual couples have. They’re not asking YOU to believe that they’re morally right. They’re asking the government to treat them equally when it comes to the civil benefits of being in a monogamous relationship. If you took the time to think the issue through, you would realize that the government should be giving them this option, so that they would be more inclined to be monogamous. The government doesn’t want people to be promiscuous and spreading diseases, etc., but they won’t accept gay couples’ relationships as legitimate because of their self righteous arrogance. Our so-called freedom of religion should also mean that YOUR PERSONAL religious beliefs should not be imposed on others through government.
I believe it is a particular group of conservative Republicans that have been costing the taxpayers a lot of money. Last Tuesday, there was voting to ban gay marriage. That, to me, sounds like the government is making special laws against gay people. I can just imagine the time and money they have spent on this issue alone.
Oh, and by the way, I do believe in God, and He created all things, including homosexuality. Why don’t you consider it a test of your humanity? Jesus wasn’t a hater, so why are his followers?
Ox
November 13th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
43this is the most one sided and biased post i have ever read.
your post fails.
Murkos
November 13th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
44Cynical, but not that funny.
machineoperator
November 13th, 2006 at 3:10 pm
45Not all Christians hate gays.
Not all Christians are disgusted by gays.
When we hear these stereotypes thrown around, it’s identical to what they accuse Christians of doing: hating.
friend of None(Grieving)
November 13th, 2006 at 3:13 pm
46I saye hate everyone equally. With enough bias, hate and prejudice we can kill everyone off.
Leave the planet to the Koala bears… I like Koala bears.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2006 at 3:14 pm
47Dude, at least cite/link your sources before ganking material: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/pdx/102351114.html
INTPLibrarian
November 13th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
48Jordan,
Homosexuality being genetic doesn’t mean that there’d be only a few people in this world by now any more than the existance of many inherited that cause one to be unable to reproduce does.
(Of course, homosexual people ARE *able* to reproduce, so that’s not a perfect analogy.)
It’s only not “natural” insofar as it’s not the *norm*. But, then again, neither is, say, albinism. That doesn’t make it UN-natural.
IDIOTS
November 13th, 2006 at 3:18 pm
49Idiots! You CANNOT win an emotionally irrational argument with a rational one!
Give up, never going to happen…
Ox
November 13th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
50To friend of None(Grieving),
Koalas are NOT bears. they are marsupials
but cute all the same.
friend of None(Grieving)
November 13th, 2006 at 3:24 pm
51Ye gads… Marsupials!
Better make kill them too… and leave the world to hedgehogs!
Thor
November 13th, 2006 at 3:29 pm
52Well.. Bill Maher said it best:
Gay people have every right to just as miserable as every other married couple…
Roach
November 13th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
53What happened to the most basic human principle? Christian, Hindu, Budhist, or Athiest…do unto others as you would like them to do unto you. Do you want someone else to tell you who you should love and marry? Do you want someone else to determine what is right or wrong? Do you want a group of lying millionaires to explain truth in your life? Decide for yourself. Wake up to your own truth.
Jordan
November 13th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
54Alright, alright, you guys win!
There were some really good arguments here that convinced me. Hooray for tolerance!
Just what I think
November 13th, 2006 at 3:36 pm
55Just becuase marriage doesn’t include gays doesn’t mean the intention was to disclude them. I agree with them having all the rights as married people do. But changing the defintion of marriage is not as easy as you think. Make it a civil union and I bet you see a different outcome. But it goes beyond getting the same rights. While many want to do the right thing for equality I see it as an agenda item. Why not civil uinons? What’s worng with that? I believe that civil unions should carry all the same weight as a married couple. I also agree that the boy scouts are for boys and the girl scouts are for girls. That deosn’t make me a bigot. I hope the gay communtiy gets the rights they deserve. It;s the fair thing. I just don’t see the need to redifine a word that has menat the same thing generatuion after generation. To some people it’s more to them than just a word. With the way people see marrriage these days (Brittany Spears 55 hour fling) I think they shoiuld make it harder for everyone. Heck, let Brittany’s next marriage be a civil union
ToasTeh
November 13th, 2006 at 3:44 pm
56haha Jordons one of those people who think god created bananas to perfectly fit into the hand of man (and still fails to recognise we evolved from monkeys and they love bananas)
Anyway thats not my point. Right and wrong is absolutly objective, for instance china’s one child policy may disturb americans but how many deaths did they prevent by actioning the clause? Thier population would far exceed what it is now. The point about homosexuals adopting is spot on - Even the christian right should realise that gay people are much more likly to have hormone imbalance and this would not affect the child. A bit more tolerence for something alot of people can’t change is exactly what we need.
If gay marrige was legalised not only would it send the signal that being gay isnt necessarily wrong, but the adoption rates worldwide would skyrocket. Raiseing a healthy child is part of the human condition and especially since (at least in england) the “pink” pound is more valuable than ever and on average they take home £10,000 more a year, those kids would get the proficiant lifestyle they need to become rounded tolerant adults.
ben
November 13th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
57lol i voted it down on reddit, on a whim checked out, saw you were a rational person, and voted it up!
Carol Jokinen
November 13th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
58Will all the homophobes PLEASE read: Aids, Inc. by Jon Rappaport? And the gay-friendly can benefit from this very important book. HIV DOES NOT CAUSE AIDS. AIDS IS NOT CAUSED BY HOMOSEXUALITY. AIDS is caused by suppression of the immune system by overuse of antibiotics and non-legal drug use like meth amphetamine AMONG OTHER THINGS. Please read the book, it is not a medical book, it is a journalistic analysis of the available data and even a casual reading will help to stop spreading the myth that homosexuality and aids go hand-in-hand. Besides, let anyone who wants to enter a highly nebulous contract with a friend and THE STATE. Marriage is a contract between two humans and THE STATE, not between two humans. I say BAN MARRIAGE FOR HETEROSEXUALS!!!
Alistair
November 13th, 2006 at 4:13 pm
59I actually came here hoping to read some legitimate arguments against gay marriage - I’ve never heard any before! A bit disappointed to just hear the same old stuff.
I’m firmly for gay marriage or at least civil unions that provide the same legal standing for gay couples. However, just a little annoyed at your analogy about tall people in number two.
If you hang around with lots of tall people, you’re liable to want to be tall (especially for guys!), but that doesn’t make you taller because it’s physically impossible. If you hang around lots and lots of gay people it’s also possible and maybe probable that you will want to be gay - at which point you can make that choice and become so. The analogy doesn’t hold!
Traditional
November 13th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
60I don’t agree with gay marriage but it’s very funny.
Jeff
November 13th, 2006 at 4:33 pm
61Carol - “AIDS is caused by suppression of the immune system by overuse of antibiotics and non-legal drug use like meth amphetamine AMONG OTHER THINGS.”
AIDS is indeed a supression of the immune system, however linking it to overuse of antibiotics and illegal narcotics denies what is happening in Africa 5+ million who have HIV and are dying of AIDS because of a lack of treatment.
As to the post, very funny.
Blake
November 13th, 2006 at 5:04 pm
62Yeah guys, America is the land of freedoms. Why stop at gay marriage? Why not allow human-animal marriages??? Oh, and I feel like I should have the right to murder you. So, following this “American” reasoning of freedom-to-do-what-you-want, I am entitled to that right. Ok, maybe that example was extreme. You say, “We should be able to do anything that doesn’t harm another human.” Well, most people would say that they don’t want their children exposed to pornography. Yet it’s somehow perfectly fine to force children to be exposed to the gay lifestyle. ok, you say “We’re not forcing them to see the gay lifestyle.” Well you will be if fags are allowed to marry eachother, because hollywood, magazines, cartoons, etc. will start to accept and promote the message that being gay is alright and should even be admired.
WHY DON’T ALL OF YOU FAGS JUST DIE?
machineoperator
November 13th, 2006 at 5:10 pm
63There are sane, intellectual, happy people both tolerantly for and opposed to gay marriage. I think they have all now left the commenting to these ghetto blasters.
FTW.
RegioBlogs » Archivo » Razones por las que los matrimonios gay deben ser ilegales.
November 13th, 2006 at 5:38 pm
64[...] Por hipocratico Esto va dedicado a todas aquellas personas que les cayó como “balde agua fría”, la aprobación de la nueva “Ley de Convivencia”. La opinión de un servidor apoya la idea de la diversidad en cualquiera de sus formas, por lo que me parece muy apropiada estas “razones”, que rayan en lo sarcástico. El ser gay no es normal: La “gente normal” rechaza todo lo que NO es natural como los anteojos, el polyester, el aire acondicionado, etc.E.l permitir los matrimonios gay, volvera a la gente gay: Esto se puede dar de la misma manera que el estar rodeado de gente alta, te volvera alto también.El legalizar los matrimonios gay, abrira la puerta a conductos locas: La gente empezara a querer casarse con sus mascotas o algo así. Los matrimonios heterosexuales ha estado instituidos durante mucho tiempo, así como muchos de los principios en los que se funda nuestro gran país, seguimos siendo una nación “machista”, las mujeres se manejan como “propiedad”, los negros no se pueden casar con mujeres blancas y el divorcio es “mal visto”. Padres gays criarán obviamente niños gay, ya que los heterosexuales solo crian niños con preferencias heterosexuales.Los matrimonios gay no son apoyados por la religión católica. Es por eso que la imposición de una sola religión norma la conducta de todo un país, por eso hay una sola religión en México. Los niños nuncan tendrán éxito sin un modelo de un hombre y una mujer en casa. Por eso nuestra sociedad prohibe padres o madres solteras puedan criar niños. Vuelvo a reiterar el sarcasmo con el que está escrito este post. Espero que lo tomen como yo, por el lado ameno. Post original en ingles [...]
mary
November 13th, 2006 at 6:23 pm
6511. Because all of you make me puke!
spankie joe
November 13th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
66my parents are blue eyed, right-handed and strait. I am green-eyed, left-handed and gay.
Even if I choose to be gay and left-handedness is the product of my upbringing, I still have a different eye color. That is nature and biology.
Jimmy
November 13th, 2006 at 6:49 pm
67You are right but there is one problem. The creator of the universe disagrees with you. This may not appear to be a problem now but it will become a problem.
spankie joe
November 13th, 2006 at 7:26 pm
68beware of those who say they speak for the creator of the universe. A god capable of such greatness surely would find a better spokesman.
homo
November 13th, 2006 at 7:29 pm
69go fags!
they help reduce world population.
gay marriage is evolution’s answer to high birth-rate.
go dykes too!
without them, porn would suck balls (not literally :P)
Matthew
November 13th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
7011) Because the constitution of the Unites States of America guarantees maximum interference from the government in the private lives of citizens.
Manymeez
November 13th, 2006 at 7:30 pm
71I found the post very entertaining, and the comments wild. There are not only gay and straight people in this world, there are people in between. Just as there are not just black and white, fat and skinny, special needs or highly intelligent people. Life is not yes and no, or right and wrong. It has been my experience that people who are so hostile toward gays are people that are too close to that grey area than they care to admit. There are people who embrace their bisexuality with great pride, as they should…but people who are just down right angry have little ability to understand anything that’s different than what they were taught. I was taught that Pluto was a planet. Come on people, it’s time to open your minds to a new way of thinking.
Natso
November 13th, 2006 at 7:31 pm
72Ew… Blake is a hater. You should try to be more like God, Blake. “God is no respecter of persons.”
You’re probably a supporter of Bush too, aren’t you. He’s a hater. Birds of a feather flock together.
Here’s my schpill:
I’m deeply religious (Christian), and morally, I, that’s ME, Nat, think homosexuality is immoral. Does my very close gay friend think so? Obviously not! Why on earth should he have to live according to MY beliefs, if he doesn’t believe them?!
I do think civil unions would be a great compromise for the time being, to get the American public ready to accept more. It’s worked in France……
Marc Holt
November 13th, 2006 at 7:52 pm
73Anything and probably everything is possible in the universe, so who is to say same-sex is right or wrong? As long as it is between two consenting adults and they are not hurting anyone else, what is the problem? It’s not for everyone, but if it bothers you, that’s your problem.
I am a straight hetero, but I have many gay friends because they are fun to be around, they are often creative and think ‘out of the box’, and they respect my right to be what I am, as I respect theirs.
Gays are not the problem. Religious right wingers have created this problem and they need to learn how to deal with it.
This debate has nothing to do with ‘natural’ vs ‘unnatural’. There are homosexual animals in nature, so does that make nature unnatural? Hmmmmm.
Marriage was created by religion to bind a male and female so that they can procreate. Given that, gay marriage is not logical. But in today’s world marriage offers certain social and government benefits that single people don’t have. Gays want to get married for a very practical reason. They are members of society just as much as you or me. Let them enjoy their citizenship rights as well.
TED
November 13th, 2006 at 7:58 pm
74Wow, what an attempt to be funny and witty………YOU FAILED!!!!!!!!!
How about the one and only reason needed on your post………It is immoral and unnatural. But I guess you feel that being liked and seen as a superior human being is all that life is about. I am not saying that you are stupid or a bad person. I think you just don’t get it . Thank you
Conrad
November 13th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
75The government should get out of the marriage business altogether and leave it to each religion to decide what marriages they’ll allow.
I recently noticed this strange detail about religious weddings. The preacher says how this marriage is ordained by god, how it’s god’s will that this couple should be together, how they should raise their children to worship god, and so on and so on. But then when it comes to the really important part where he makes the official pronouncement, he has to say “By the power vested in me by the state of XX, I pronounce you man and wife?” Why isn’t it by the power vested in him by god?
The reason is that marriage is just another area where the government has interjected itself where it really has no business. I suggest we abolish government recognition of marriage altogether and leave it to religions. We’d have to change joint property, inheritance, and child custody laws a bit to allow people to specify whatever sort of arrangements they want in that regard. Then each religion can decide on its own what they want to term a “marriage”, whether it’s a man and a woman, two men, a menage a trois, a man and his dog, etc.
Shannon
November 13th, 2006 at 8:12 pm
76I’ve never understood the “homosexuality” is unnatural argument since homosexuality does, in fact, exist in nature. Do research, there are many other species of animals where homosexuality exists among them.
The Rza
November 13th, 2006 at 8:26 pm
77@ Jordon - Most animals have gay sex all the time, wiki it. Some animals do it more often than straight sex. Moreover, if we are tracing arguments logicaly, prove god exists and that he is a christian god. You can’t realy.
And way to qoute the Naturalistic Fallacy, just because something naturaly occurs doesnt translate into moral legitimacy. Normality comes about culturaly and through resources and beleifs. In some Native American cultures tranvestites are exalted and are a normal part of society.
Furthermore “unnatural” things are an arbitrary distinction, what makes something natural? If its the most common then its purely subjective ad if its something that is ingrained within humanity id say being gay is very natural since u can trace it back thousands of years and more.
However, I will grant you one respite. You have no burden to beleive me, i would love that you would concur, but i know it wont happen.
Cat Lance
November 13th, 2006 at 8:27 pm
78@Jordan
The separation of church and state is set down in the First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”
“Shall make no law resspecting an establishment of religion,”
As in, just because a particular religion has labeled homosexuality as an “abomination” that does not give our government the right to strip these people of their Fundamental Human Rights.
You know, things like, living, loving, having children, raising children, etc.
Clark
November 13th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
79People that are against gay rights, up to and including marriage, emabarass me as a human.
Damn right I blogged this post. Good job.
Axis Weevil
November 13th, 2006 at 8:34 pm
80Good writing, well done.
daniel
November 13th, 2006 at 8:36 pm
81good stuff. pretty funny and makes a good point.
bob
November 13th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
82faggots are gay
by the way, my dog eats shit and sniffs other dogs asses in nature too… that’s a reasonable justification for why humans should do it too!
LizaP
November 13th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
83This is one of the most acid, biting, funny, hilarious, ironic articles I’ve read in a long time.
I give you an A+ for your logic and humour and will give this article tomorrow in my English class.
P.S. - some of the comments like having a back hole in his head … what an inventive way to say he has shit for brains!
alfredEneuman
November 13th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
84Gay = Happy.
Marriage = Unhappy.
Gay Marriage = Happy Unhappy.
And that’s just absurd. Hence should not be allowed.
Jack
November 13th, 2006 at 10:03 pm
85I don’t agree with gay marriage, but that was excellent satire.
If only everyone argued their point with that much wit and brilliance.
I Digg your article.
Donklephant » Blog Archive » Why Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal
November 13th, 2006 at 10:10 pm
86[...] You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your ownsite. [...]
Loundry
November 13th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
87HIV, if it exists, cannot be shown to cause AIDS. The antibody tests (there is no such thing as an “HIV test” because the tests cannot detect HIV) are meaningless because antigens are polyclonal and the protein reactions cannot be proven to not be a promiscuous reaction. AZT and protease inhibitors are poison and have killed many people. Many people who died of “AIDS” actually died of AZT poisoning. One day the AIDS orthodoxy will die an overdue death, but, until then, “HIV positive” will be the Scarlet Letter A of the 20th and 21st centuries.
Rose
November 13th, 2006 at 10:37 pm
88Go back in the closet!
Mike
November 13th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
89@Loundry
Wow. Your comment is so filled with pseudoscience and false truths that I don’t know where to begin…
First, HIV exists… I work with it every day, I can cultivate it using many type of cells (lymphocytes, macrophages, etc.) and I can infect healthy cells with it. I can detect its RNA (genetic code) using RT-PCR, I can detect its surface and core proteins using MONOCLONAL antibodies and if I use AZT on infected cells, they stop producing HIV. If I use AZT on healthy cells (in the treatment index window of concentration), they continue to grow and are otherwise normal because AZT only targets the reverse transriptase of HIV.
Nucleosidic and non-nucleosidic reverse transcriptase inhibitors and protease inhibitors are drugs, just like aspirin and tylenol. They thus have side effects and, if taken inappropriately, they can cause serious damage to your health. But if they are taken appropriately, they do their job and save lives!
Before repeating what you see on the internet, before believing anything… even my comment. Learn, educate yourself and then make up your mind.
Michel Ouellet
Ph.D. Immunology/Virology
Jed
November 13th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
90Interesting how the comments of the anti-gay people reacting to your post reveal what losers they are. They can’t muster any coherent argument beyond things like “faggots are gay.”
Thanks for not deleting their posts — the (lack of) quality of their thinking speaks for itself.
bill bixby
November 13th, 2006 at 11:45 pm
91yeah! homosexuals have smaller brains.
Matt
November 14th, 2006 at 1:23 am
92Am I the only one that has already seen this like ten times before? The owner of this blog DID NOT write this content, it’s been floating around the internet for years.
shitterfucker
November 14th, 2006 at 1:44 am
93fags.
shitterfucker
November 14th, 2006 at 1:46 am
94oh jeah and gay homosexuals are friggen queer fags.
Why gay marriage should be illegal « Take Two
November 14th, 2006 at 2:14 am
95[...] I saw this post on reddit about why gay people should not be allowed to marry. Seing the title, Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should be Illegal, I suspected a satirical post; I was right. What’s more, it’s well written and I agree wholehartedly with it. [...]
Jay P
November 14th, 2006 at 4:10 am
96Hilarious post!
Dave
November 14th, 2006 at 5:26 am
97@Jordan: “So America wasn’t built on rights it was built on freedom.”
Um… Yeah! So let’s take away all them gays’ freedoms!
(BTW Regarding homosexuality not being “nataral”: are you suggesting that the homosexuality present in the animal kingdom was learned from humans?!)
Dav
Danny
November 14th, 2006 at 5:27 am
98Nature’s prime dictate is life. You can look at it any way you want, but every living organism’s primal urge is to multiply. If you don’t have that urge, something is missing. Bisexuals obviuosly DO have that urge, so nature probably thinks that is OK…
Having said that, homosexuality is neither a disease or a crime. It is nature’s way of saying, for whatever unknown reason: “You are not a genetic prospect” - i.e., an evolutionary self-destruct mechanism of a certain genetic composite.
You can still be a wonderful, moral person, and could make a great contribution to society; but that is already a SOCIAL concept, not a biological one.
And after all, in what is’s mans supremecy of other animals more evident if not in his ability to defy nature?
So be proud, gays are better than straight people exactly because they are unnatural. And if enough people defy nature and refuse to miultiply, we’ll finally show old mother nature who’s boss!!!
Of course, there won’t be anyone around to gloat, but that’s beside the point…
Dave
November 14th, 2006 at 5:30 am
99@Jimmy: The creator of the universe disagrees with you.
I would just like to point out that the Flying Spaghetti Monster in no way discriminates against homosexuality so obviously you’ve gotten your signals crossed.
Dave
Reality Me » I Didn’t Get The Gay Marriage Ban Until Now
November 14th, 2006 at 6:09 am
100[...] I voted against the constitutional amendment to declare marriage between a man and a woman. Now that I have read the Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal I understand so much better. 09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children. [Source] [...]
Dave Newton
November 14th, 2006 at 7:30 am
101@Danny: “And after all, in what is’s mans supremecy of other animals more evident if not in his ability to defy nature?”
Is it a sign of “supremecy” that we systematically destroy the world in which we live? IMO that would be an indication of the exact opposite.
“So be proud, gays are better than straight people exactly because they are unnatural.”
Something found in nature cannot, by definition, be unnatural.
Homosexuality and homosexual behavior have existed essentially forever. Humans and the rest of the animals still exist, so obviously it can’t be that big of a deal.
Dave
nationalboylovemember
November 14th, 2006 at 7:48 am
102I wish someone would also stand up for the love inherant between men and boys. Its just as valid between two men, there is just an age difference. so what if I’ll be 80 when he’s 60!
the dangers of gay marriage « blackbox
November 14th, 2006 at 8:31 am
103[...] Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal [...]
Josh
November 14th, 2006 at 8:51 am
104Sarcasm at it’s finest.
Danny
November 14th, 2006 at 9:47 am
105@Dave “Is it a sign of “supremecyâ€Â? that we systematically destroy the world in which we live? IMO that would be an indication of the exact opposite.”
Obviously that note of irony was too subtle…
Freddy Fenderless
November 14th, 2006 at 10:27 am
106Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is in our constitution, and also that all men are created equal.
So if gays are denied their hapiness and freedom, then they aren’t being created equal.
If such is the case, then they aren’t considered being part of humanity, so they shouldn’t be paying taxes and such, as they aren’t considered as men, but as mere dogs.
I wish the rapture would come and take the nutcases away, as I’m getting sick of the idiots trying to legislate away our free will.
Plus, I ran out of clay pigeons, and I need to keep practicing or I’ll lose my aiming abilities.
balas
November 14th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
107Marc >> Marriage was created by religion to bind a male and female so that they can procreate.
balas >> oh, didnt people(st/gay) union before the religion was ‘invented’?
Brian in MA
November 14th, 2006 at 12:50 pm
108Yeah, this was great, if you like illogical bait and switch.
Top 10 Reasons this list is bullshit.
1) Air conditioners and other household appliances corrupt the social order, just like changing the definition of a building block institution would.
2) Legitimizing dangerous behavior for children will never cause them to act on that behavior, just like saying “its fine to be gay” won’t make them look beyond their 2nd grade best friend as the only source of love in thier life.
3) Crazy behaviors like polygamy and its poor treatment of women would not arise because you cannot argue that more than two people can consent to a marriage.
4) Changes in marriage just occured flippantly because somebody whined about it, it had nothing to do with actual systemic discrimination on every other front.
5) Gay marriages will never have 55 hour equivalents, eben though statistically gays have more partners over the course of their lives than straights.
6) Gay marriages are valid because marriage is all about two consenting people, it does not represent a commitment and duty to each other and to any offspring, it is just a civic contract to be broken at will, say, in 55 hours.
7) Obviously Gay marriage will not teach children its ok to be gay, never step outside your first friends, they love you and you don’t want those icky girls when this is pefectly natural.
9) Children can survive in broken homes, so we should always promote less than ideal growing conditions, life is a gamble!
10) Gay marriage will not fundamentally change societal norms, all it does is tell children marriage is all about signing a government contract with someone who consents, and really, having a mommy and a daddy isn’t important, just that two people love each other and they care about each other more than you, you don’t deserve anything but what they want to give you. SO yeah, totally fine and peachy keen.
Mark
November 14th, 2006 at 1:35 pm
109go back to the stone age,close-minded disgrace.
Brian in MA
November 14th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
110Mark: “go back to the stone age,close-minded disgrace.”
Your tolerance for diverse thought appears to be limited. Perhaps this is because you are only “open-minded” when someone AGREES with you, also known as being close-minded. ANYONE can be tolerant of that which they agree with, but the real close-minded bigots are those who cannot fathom allowing any other thought to be expressed. They prefer not to argue based on merits, but on cheap emotional attacks.
But I’ll make you happy: I’m a close-minded bigot from the stone age. Now, please inform me how anything I said is incorrect, oh wise one?
Better watch that plank in that eye there, Mark. (What an ironic name.)
Bob Dobalina
November 14th, 2006 at 3:28 pm
111God is an imaginary friend for grown-ups. Leave the fiction out of the argument.
Zach
November 14th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
112Phew did that spark some controversy…
Ahh the effects of true satire. It is almost beautiful to watch.
Ah well I’m just passing by, hope to catch up with y’all again - check out my site for some religio-cultural and social commentary!
Daniel Brierton
November 14th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
113I was about to go ape shit there! Then I realised you were takin the piss!
“God is an imaginary friend for grown-ups. Leave the fiction out of the argument.”
I agree!
EndeNeu - The greatest thing, since bread came sliced :: links for 2006-11-14
November 14th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
114[...] » Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal 10 gründe warum man schwulen Ehen verbieten sollte (tags: funny politics) [...]
[i:rrhoblog] » links for 2006-11-14
November 14th, 2006 at 4:18 pm
115[...] Top 10 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal “Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.” (tags: homosexualitaet gleichberechtigung gender genderblog queer gesellschaft ehe liste) [...]
Mike
November 14th, 2006 at 6:10 pm
116Nice post. I didn’t expect something actually anti-gay marriage, but I didn’t expect something intelligent either.
Well written!
ed
November 14th, 2006 at 6:23 pm
117I thought the good thing about being gay was that you didnt have to get married ; )
ed
November 14th, 2006 at 6:43 pm
118you know if you have gay marriage then you’ll have gay divorce .then you’ll have alimony battles do you people really want this ? I think the gays that want to legally marry have an alterior motive .All you successful gays better look out … You should want to keep your relationships pure dont you know how messed up the “institution” of marrage really is ? You should do something original,Make up your own thing .Anyone know the laws on gay marriages in other countries ?
David
November 14th, 2006 at 7:24 pm
119I just live for the day when there will be no descriptive in front of the word people.Damn,that will make it hard on the us vs. them arguements,won’t it ?
Brian in MA
November 14th, 2006 at 8:28 pm
120“God is an imaginary friend for grown-ups. Leave the fiction out of the argument.”
The lack of God is the pidgeonhole of atheists who talk a big game about science and rationality, but when it comes to debating they use the logical falacy of generaliztion and never do any actual debating. (e.g. X believes in God. X is therefore a crackpot and I need not adress any of their arguments.)
Athiesm is the crutch of people who don’t want to admit that there is a higher moral standard than one that is simply ordained by the majority of men in a given area, but don’t want to sound like moral relativists. A statement of disbelief is a statement of inaction. Those who believe in nothing stand for nothing.
Cat
November 14th, 2006 at 8:45 pm
121Let’s contrast and compare grammar in each of the above posts. I have done this myself and my findings are as follows:
As is usual the people whose minds are open seem to be well-educated and well-spoken. Their grammar ranges from fair to excellemnt, and you can at least understand what they’re trying to say. They also tend to use punctuation correctly most of the time.
Conversely, those who argue in favor of narrow-minded constraints being placed upon the entire populace would boggle the mind of any automatic spellchecker on the planet. Coincidentally their opinions are based on outdated and biased information because their operating philosophy in life is that “eddykashun is fer people what cain’t think fer therselfs and read thuh bahbul.”
These observations hold true pretty much everywhere.
Ron Giuntini
November 14th, 2006 at 10:13 pm
122I am so tired of these excuses..Please, when you find a pair of mated animals of the same sex, let me know. When you find two men who can procreate, or two women who can do the same, let me knot. Until then, when I see a buck and a doe, a cow and a bull, a hen and a rooster, I will believe there IS a natural order, and homosexual unions are unnatural.
Otherwise, have fun and good luck. And of course, vote for Hillary. And be loud and clear you are doing so.
Brian in MA
November 14th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
123Cat, I should note that whomever you are trying to lampoon in your post, you misspelled the word “excellent.”
If you are going to post for the purpose of being a grammar nazi and claim people need to use the automatic spellchecker, it is good practice to use one on your own post to avoid such errors.
Further, the proper use of spelling and grammar are indeed good skills to have, but are not indicators of intelligence or the strength of any given argument. “The earth be round” is still a more valid claim than “the earth is flat,” regardless of the grammar involved. Ideally you should shoot for good grammar and good arguments because they augment each other, but strength of argument is not related to grammar, nor is grammar related to the strength of an argument.
I also note you have committed the fallacy of generalization, by using one factor (alleged spelling and grammar deficiencies of the claim maker) to make a statement about the strength of the argument.
You also have unbacked claims, in that you offer no proof that the information a particular person has used is biased and/or outdated.
There are uneducated, mindless trolls buying the respective propaganda on both sides of the debate; characterizing the arguments themselves by the proper or poor grammar of a given debater is fallicious. There are people both poorly written and well written on both sides.